Suicidal Thoughts Made Katy Perry Turn to God to Write "By the Grace of God"

By Timothy Yap Nov 12, 2014 12:52 AM EST

Contemporary pop artist Katy Perry reveals that she was suffering from depression and toyed with the idea of suicide when she and her former husband Russell Brand divorced a few years ago. Her pain made her search into her soul for God which led her to write her song "By the Grace of God."

"[It] is the first song that I wrote coming to make this record, when I was in a different place, I was in a darker place," said Perry to 'The Project' at the backstage of Perth Arena in Australia.

"Sometimes you can be blinded by your extreme emotions. I definitely was looking for answers, and during that time I wrote that song, and I was depressed and it was sad. And there were thoughts, but there were never actions...thankfully."

The 30-year-old California native revealed she wanted to share her side of the story because she believes many of her fans probably went through similar experiences during that difficult time in her life. "You always feel like you're the only one going through it," said Perry.

Though Perry grew up in a Christian home where her parents were preachers, Perry herself even recorded a Christian album before she left her faith. Now, she confesses that she's no longer a Christian but still draws a connection with God and prayer. "I don't believe in a Heaven or a Hell, or an old man sitting on a throne," said Perry to Marie Claire magazine in the January 2014 edition. "I'm not Buddhist, I'm not Hindu, I'm not Christian, but I still feel like I have a deep connection with God."

Here are some of the words to her song "By the Grace of God:"

Was 27 surviving my return of Saturn

A long vacation didn't sound so bad
Was full of secrets locked up tight like iron mountain
Running on empty so out of gas

Thought I wasn't enough
Found I wasn't so tough
Layin' on the bathroom floor
We were living on a fault line
And I felt the fault was all mine
Couldn't take it anymore

By the grace of God (there was no other way)
I picked myself back up (I knew I had to stay)
I put one foot in front of the other
And I looked in the mirror and decided to stay
Wasn't gonna let love take me out that way

I thank my sister for keeping my head above the water
When the truth was like swallowing sand
Now every morning, there is no more mourning
Oh, I can finally see myself again

I know I am enough
Possible to be loved
It was not about me
Now I have to rise above
Let the universe call the bluff
Yeah, the truth'll set you free

By the grace of God (there was no other way)
I picked myself back up (I knew I had to stay)
I put one foot in front of the other
And I looked in the mirror and decided to stay
Wasn't gonna let love take me out, oh, that way,